


For Such A Long Time - I Couldn't Find Myself

by mae428



Category: Actor RPF, Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, CMBN Kink Meme, Facials, Hand Jobs, M/M, PLS GO LOOK AT THE LINKS IN THE NOTES, Semi-Public Sex, Soft Timmy Is Soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mae428/pseuds/mae428
Summary: At the Paris premiere 1/26/2017Prompt:It's been a while since they've seen each other, and Timmy is not sure whether things are going to pick up where they left off, with so much unanswered UST. It builds and builds during the red carpet and premiere of the movie, and finally culminates afterwards semi-publicly in the theater, or in the back of a car, or back at the hotel, or all of that.And it can have a parallel scene. Where Timmy grabs Armie's crotch in their seats at the exact same moment Elio grabs Oliver's dick on screen.





	For Such A Long Time - I Couldn't Find Myself

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Call Me By Your Name Kink Meme](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12018204) by [maccabird_23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maccabird_23/pseuds/maccabird_23). 



> Fulfilling an Armie/Timmy prompt on the CMBYN Kink Meme :)

It feels like ages since they’ve seen each other. It hasn’t really, considering the last time they were together was the Golden Globes. But the three weeks between then and now have been packed with press junkets, events, suit fittings, airplanes and by the time they’re finally back in Italy, Timmy can’t tell which way is up.

But before the Globes? Yeah. _That_ had been ages. And it wasn’t like they really had a chance for one on one time when they finally did see each other. It was all quick photo ops on the red carpet and soft conversation with Liz and Luca and Esther over dinner. 

But now they had an entire stretch of European press ahead of them, which meant Timmy would be seeing a lot more of Armie.

They started off in Rome, where Timmy immediately fell right back into the comfort of having the cast and crew around. It was like being with family, and it was especially nice to see Luca back in his comfort zone.

From there they fly to Paris, where they have a day of press before the screening. Timmy sprawls himself over the couch in Armie’s and Liz’s room, long limbs splayed every which way. It was so easy to fall back into this: long afternoons spent relaxing with Armie, and Liz if she was in town.

He and Armie developed such a close relationship during filming due to the amount of time they spent together. It started off as a bones-deep friendship, then progressed into light flirting off-screen but it ended up that, much like Elio and Oliver, Timmy and Armie couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It never went past making out; Timmy assumed it was something to do with Liz. Armie was married, after all, and he couldn’t help but make himself feel sick at the thought of coming between Liz and Armie.

“She doesn’t mind,” Armie assured him one night, Timmy pressed up against the wall with his arms wound tight around Armie’s neck. “She encouraged it, actually.”

As much as Timmy wanted to ask for more, he never dared. He didn’t want to burst this bubble. Why let go of a good thing?

“You’ve got your thinking face on,” Liz says, mock-seriously, as she pushes Timmy’s leg aside so she can perch next to him on the couch 

“Jetlag,” Timmy sighs, rolling his head over the arm of the couch to look at her through bleary eyes. It wasn’t entirely untrue.

“So you’re going to do all the talking today,” Armie says as he hangs his clothes up.

“You know you don’t have to hang up tracksuits, right?” Timmy teases as he pushes himself up a little so he can peer at Armie over Liz’s head. “And yes, asshole, since someone couldn’t be bothered to learn _any_ French _at all_.”

Armie just laughs, full-bodied, head thrown back and blue eyes just as bright as the sky in Crema.

The press and television appearances go well. It’s the same old for Timmy - he feels unbelievably blessed to work with Luca, he found a great friend in Armie, he’s so thankful for the attention this awards season, and, “Yes, that peach scene was really something!”.

They have just thirty minutes to change before the red carpet and as Timmy fiddles with his hair, he can’t help but wish they had more time. He feels grimy and is desperate for a shower, but he guesses this greasy-Euro-look is something he’s been going for lately.

But mostly he feels tired. Tired of dancing around whatever this is with Armie. Granted, they haven’t really had a free moment since arriving in Rome, but Armie hasn’t even  _tried_. Maybe Liz changed her mind. Maybe Armie hadn’t even asked her about it in the first place. Maybe Armie realized that Timmy was just a kid and that he wasn’t worth the energy. Timmy feels sick with the onslaught of these thoughts and he can’t help but hate himself a little more for pushing himself into Armie’s life and ruining everything. 

“Are you kidding me?” Armie asks when they meet at the elevator, eyeing Timmy’s cropped pants. 

Liz butts in quickly and tucks a piece of hair behind Timmy’s ear. “I think he looks fantastic.”

Timmy wants to fall into her, wants to be held close like he’s sure she does with Harper and Ford. He wants to cry against her neck where he knows her vanilla and sandalwood perfume smells strongest. Timmy internally rolls his eyes at himself. Yeah, cry to your best friend’s wife about wanting to fuck said best friend. That’s a good look.

On the escalator at the venue, Armie turns around to face Timmy, smiling from ear to ear. Timmy almost falls backward. “You haven’t stayed for a premiere screening yet.” It’s not a question. This has come up so many times that Armie knows the answer.

Neither of them ever watch the movie during premiers or screenings. They’ve both seen it in its entirety, but that was with a bottle of rosatello for each of them and with the entire cast and crew.

“We’ll stay tonight,” Armie says, and Timmy’s breath hitches. 

He’s about to answer when Armie turns around and steps off the escalator, cool as can be.

The carpet is almost unbearably hot and Timmy wishes he hadn’t worn a leather jacket. This entire _week_ has been unbearable. He forgot how much of an affect Armie has on him. 

Armie’s hand is tight on his shoulder, and they’re pressed together from shoulder down to the sides of their feet. Timmy’s cheeks hurt from the wide smiles and he wishes he just had a second to catch his breath. He scans the crowd, tries to find Luca or Liz or his mom as a grounding force, but all he can see are camera flashes. Timmy can’t help but hang onto Armie a little tighter.

Armie looks at him then, and in his periphery, Timmy can tell that Armie is concerned. But this is neither the time nor the place. Or rather, there never will be a time or place. Not for this conversation. Because whatever they had is apparently over. Just an on-set fling to pass the time. Timmy can’t tell if he’s happy they never actually had sex, or if he wishes they did just so he could have the memories.

Timmy tilts his head in Armie’s direction and gives him a megawatt smile. Yeah. He can do this. _Acting_ , and everything.

They go into the theatre and take seats at the back. It feels foreign and weird to be here. Usually, they’d be backstage, fooling around on Instagram until the Q&A.

Timmy cannot sit still. He’s bouncing his knees and picking at his nails, eyes downcast.

“You good?” Liz asks, peering around Armie.

“Fine,” Timmy manages to get out, even though all he can register is Armie’s warm thigh pressed right up against his own. Why does he have to sit like that all the time? All open and spread and casual?

The lights dim and Timmy feels like he can barely breathe. He’s about to watch the movie for the first time in ages, with Armie right next to him. As the first scene opens, Timmy takes a stuttering breath. He can remember what he and Armie did that day off-set, once they were done with shooting. He can practically feel the warm air and smell the apricot juice.

Once Elio and Oliver ride into town together, Timmy has stopped shaking, his own thigh pressed against Armie’s, but he still sits ramrod straight and still in his seat. The scenes seem to go by quickly and Timmy doesn’t think this was such a bad idea after all. Until Elio takes Oliver to his secret place 

“I love this, Oliver,” on-screen Timmy says. Timmy shifts a little in his seat.

“What?”

“Everything.”

“Us, you mean?”

“Eh, it’s not bad. Not bad." 

Timmy watches as Oliver rolls over to Elio, watches as he licks at Oliver’s fingers, watches as Elio and Oliver share their first kiss. 

“Better now?”

Armie had echoed those exact words as more of a statement the first time he kissed Timmy. Not at rehearsal, not as Oliver. Just Timmy and Armie. Armie and Timmy. “Better now.” 

Elio rolls on top of Oliver, kisses him again. Armie shifts next to Timmy, and Timmy has to clench his fists to keep himself from looking over at Armie. He knows what’s coming next. How easy it would be to mirror it.

“Mmhmm. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We should go.”

“Wha-?”

He and Armie haven’t done anything either. And it’s not a good thing. What _would_ be good is if they were to do something. Anything.

Armie’s words from earlier play in Timmy’s mind along with onscreen Oliver’s words

“I know myself, okay? And we’ve been good. We haven’t done anything to be ashamed of, and that’s a good thing. I wanna be good. Okay?”

“She doesn’t mind. She encouraged it actually.”

Timmy doesn’t know why he does it. He has to mentally thank Elio for having so much courage. Just as Elio reaches out to cup Oliver through his shorts, Timmy does the same. He reaches his hand over, boldly cupping Armie over his black velvet pants, only to find him half hard. He dares not look over at Armie, as all possible outcomes, good or bad, would be highly inappropriate for a packed theatre.

“Am I offending you?”

Timmy whispers it ever so softly, just for Armie to hear. He’s thankful they’re all the way in the last row.

Instead of removing his hand as Oliver does, Armie leans down and noses along Timmy’s cheek to his ear.

“Please.”

Armie covers Timmy’s hand with his own, pressing down a bit harder. Timmy has to bite hard at his lower lip to keep from moaning. They have plenty of time, so Timmy moves his hand so that he can lace their fingers together. Armie glances briefly at Liz, and so does Timmy, and she gives them a huge smile and a thumbs up. Armie rolls his eyes but nudges Timmy’s thigh to get him up.

It takes Timmy a second to find his footing, but once he’s up, he’s practically dragging Armie out of the theatre. Armie doesn’t let go of his hand, his free arm coming around Timmy’s slim waist as they walk. It makes it difficult to get anywhere fast, which is what Timmy needs right now, but he definitely doesn’t want to give up Armie pressed up against his back.

“Here,” Timmy says finally, tugging Armie towards the coat check. The hutch is closed and the attendant is, thankfully, nowhere to be seen. Armie locks the door behind them before pushing Timmy up against the wall. Timmy is met with soft fur and he sinks back against the coat as Armie gets a thigh between his legs.

“Tim,” Armie murmurs against Timmy’s neck. “Timmy, fuck. I’ve missed you.”

All Timmy can do is moan in response as he bares his neck for Armie.

In what seems like thirty seconds, Armie is down on his knees, unzipping and pushing aside Timmy’s slacks. He looks up at Timmy, eyes so piercing Timmy is pretty sure they could cut steel.

“Is this okay?”

It’s a line they haven’t crossed yet, but Timmy has never wanted anything more in his life. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?” Armie asks, fingers teasing at the hem of Timmy’s briefs.

Timmy whines and slides his fingers into Armie’s hair. Into that soft, perfect, thick mass of air. “Yes,” he breathes, pushing his hips forward a bit. “Yes, Armie, _please_.”

Armie laughs at that as he pushes Timmy’s boxers down. He barely has time to shiver before Armie is sliding his lips over the head of his cock, sinking all the way down to the base.

“Holy shit,” Timmy whispers, fingers tightening in Armie’s hair. He knows this is going to be over way sooner than he wants it to. He sinks back against the soft fur coat behind him and he looks down at Armie with heavy-lidded eyes. Armie stares right back up at him, eyes clear and blue, as he sucks Timmy off in earnest.

“How are you so fucking good at that?” Timmy asks, glad that Armie doesn’t stop to answer. He does groan though, which causes Timmy to thrust forward into Armie’s mouth.

It only takes about two more minutes until Timmy is coming hard down Armie’s throat. “Armie,” he cries out, his entire body shaking. “Armie, fuck. _Fuck_.” 

He never thought this day would come, but here they are, Armie cleaning off Timmy’s dick with soft laps of his tongue. Timmy shivers and pushes at Armie’s head when it gets to be too much.

“Can I kiss you?” Armie asks.

“Yes, please,” Timmy says quickly, just like Elio.

Unlike Oliver, however, Armie doesn’t waste time kissing Timmy’s cheeks and neck. He immediately delves in, kissing Timmy right on the mouth. He can taste himself on Armie’s tongue and as they kiss, Armie rushes to unzip Armie’s pants and get a hand into them.

“Timmy,” Armie sighs as Timmy wraps his fingers around Armie’s cock.

“How come we never did this before?” Timmy asks. He panics suddenly, unsure if this is just a one-time thing for Armie. He doesn’t stop moving his hand, though. He doesn’t think he could even if he tried. Armie is so thick and warm between his fingers, and Timmy wants to feel him _everywhere_.

“Didn’t think you wanted to,” Armie answers as he hunches over and drops his forehead to Timmy’s shoulder.

“God, I wanted to, Armie. I want everything from you.” 

“I’m gonna - I’m gonna make a mess of our clothes,” Armie warns, and Timmy grins at how fast he can tear Armie apart. 

He falls to his knees, just as Armie had done for him. “Make a mess of my face instead,” Timmy pleads, looking up at Armie with a wide-eyed and innocent expressing. Not so innocent though, as he speeds up his and, swiping his thumb over the head of Armie’s cock. 

“Are you kidding m-”

Armie can’t finish that thought, though, because he’s coming all over Timmy’s face, coating his sharp cheekbones and long nose, over his dark eyebrows, one eye painted shut.

“Oh my god, Timothée, you are beautiful,” Armie says, completely breathless. Timmy feels so proud that he can make Armie swoon like this.

Timmy kneels there, looking up at Armie through one eye. He doesn’t want to move, not yet. He wants to make sure Armie has this image in his mind for the rest of forever.

As if reading his mind, Armie fishes in his pants pocket for his cell phone. He snaps a quick photo and lets out a lewd groan. “Liz is gonna love this.”

Timmy’s heart speeds up at the prospect of bringing Liz into the equation. He never thought that could be an option, but suddenly, he needs it desperately. 

“Come here,” Armie says after he pockets his phone. He helps Timmy up and drags a finger through the come streaking his cheek. “Gorgeous,” Armie praises before sucking the finger clean. Timmy whines and Armie chuckles, dragging his finger through again but pressing his finger into Timmy’s mouth instead.

Timmy groans at the taste and clutches at Armie. He decides then and there that as soon as is humanly possible, he and Armie need to lock themselves up in a hotel room and never leave. 

Armie takes out the handkerchief he always keeps in his pocket and he wipes off Timmy’s face with the utmost gentleness. “As much as I love to see you like this, I don’t know if your mother will appreciate it.”

Timmy snorts and flutters his eyes open once he’s all clean. “Luca probably would, though.”

They spend some more time just lazily making out amongst the soft coats. They have plenty of time and Timmy plans on making full use of it.

By the time they finally get back to the theatre, they’ve only got about twenty minutes left.

Armie lets Timmy sag against him, and Timmy hums softly when he feels Armie start to card his fingers through his hair. Liz is beaming, Armie’s thigh is pressed up against his again, and Timmy finally feels like he can breathe for the first time in ages. Sure, there’s still a lot to discuss, but at least they’ve started the conversation. At least Timmy doesn’t have to go on pining after someone he can’t have.

After the credits, they receive a standing ovation as they head down the aisle to the front of the theatre for the Q&A. 

Armie’s hair is mussed, his blazer is askew, and his cheeks are still pink.

Timmy has discarded his leather jacket and he relaxes in the chair, completely at ease.

They get to the heart of the movie, and when Timmy answers, he can't help but smile. 

“Love is love.” He hears Armie giggle behind him and he turns around, smile widening. “Are you laughing at me?” he asks with a fond roll of his eyes before turning back around to the press. “Accept...accept yourself for who you are. And to suffer as a result of love or to suffer period is a human passage. The only thing one should avoid in that scenario is to add an extra layer of self-loathing to the suffering that results from love.”

He hasn’t been able to avoid the self-loathing for a few months now, but tonight, he thinks he’s definitely taken a step in the right direction.

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place at the premiere in Paris this weekend. I noticed Armie & Timmy looking slightly disheveled during Q&A :)
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BedFZFHHmA5/?taken-by=ilovetimotheechalamet
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BebnSjLB12U/?taken-by=ohmychalamet


End file.
